Index Part 10 Sub Pt 4 1979

New Years Party At Our House On 57th Serves As Cover CIA & Other Intel 'Spooks' To Give Me The Intended 'Patsy' In Waiting, The 'Once Over' Twice For Possible Glitches In The Drug-Hypno Programming I Got In Mt. Shasta Last Summer --- Back To Work And I Move 'Pete' From Chicago Into Our Pad At 57th

Things Get Weird Even Before The Party When O'Brien Has Me Pick Up The Four Bottles Of 'Everclear' 190 Proof For The Party When I Board The Tri-Met Bus From The Oregon State Liquor Store At or Near The Lloyd Center And Four Large Dudes Sit All Around Me Thereon A Practically Empty Bus Going Up What Must Have Been Broadway As I Recall --- The Punch Bowl, A Brand New 30-Gallon Plastic Trash Container With A New Bag Liner

Probable Stimulus Response Testing As I Party With The 'Ex' Who I Spend The Night With Later On --- I'm Clued In But Play It Cool, As This Scene Is Reminescent Of The Halloween Party Back In '77 At My 'Ex's' On 39th & Burnside What With The All Eyes Crawling All Over My Semi-Drunk And Stoned Ass --- I Meet O'Brien's Girl For The First And What Was Probably The Last Time --- There Must Have Been More Than A Hundred Or Possibly Two Hundred Coming, Going & Hanging Out All Night Until I Left That Night To Spend The Night With My 'Ex' At her Grandmother's Place On Castle In North Portland --- I Figured That Kendra My Girlfriend Was Doing The Same Over There In The 'Big Apple' New York City And At That Point In My Life I Guess I Felt Emotions For Both Of Them In One Part Of My Mind,

It Was At This Time In January 1979 That I Felt Precisely The Same Way I Felt Back In The Summer Of 1974, When Although I Had A Fair Amount Of Freinds & Freindly Acquaintances Who I Liked & Cared About, I Felt Pretty Much Desensitized When It Came To Girlfreinds. --- At That Period In Time From Late '73 To Mid '74 I Was All But Completely Alienated From My Parents & Family Who Lived Right Down The Same Street In Covina That I Lived On, Before My Family Moved Out To Culver City Sometime Around June 1974 Or Thereabouts I'm Told.

All Through The Summer Of 1974 --- I Still Had Very Vivid Recollections 1973 That Spud's Girlfriend Niki Had So Falsely And Maliciously Accused Me Of Complicity In Spud's July 1971 Murder, During That Slickly Arranged Ambush At The West Covina Courthouse --- When In Fact Just The Opposite Was True, Whereas It Was Me Suggested The Barricading Of His Bedroom Which Sucessfully Repelled The First Attack By The Poilice-Informant Assailants, Who Came Back 5 or 6 Hours Later During The Early Pre-dawn Hours To Inflict The Fatal Head Wound Which Later Resulted In Spud's Death Days Later At Intercommunity Hospital Just A Block Away FromThe Crime Scene At His Home In Covina.

I Suppose That Some Might Say I May Have Been The Cause Of Spud's Death In Tha t Said That Spud May Have Been Murdered Over What I Had Told Him About The L.A. Sheriff's Trying To Frame Me Up To Look Like A 'Snitch' Or Undercover Cop --- But Hell I Told All My Friends & Acquaintacnes The Same Fucking Thing As Well As Other People I Didn't Really Know In Order To Quell The False Rumors About Me All The Spring And Summer That Followed My April 1971 From L.A. County Jail And Biscailuz County Prison And They Weren't Murdered Over It. --- I Did This As I Didn't Want To Get 'Off'd' For Being A 'Snitch' For The 'Narcs'.

I Always Suspected That Spud's Girlfriend Niki Who I Knew As An Adolescent In Mid-School Was Some Kind Of Poilce Snitch, And I'll Never Forget The Way The Bitch Was Giving Me The Eye All Night As Spud And I Became Fast Friends Only Hours Before The Fatal Attack Which Resulted In Spud's Murder. --- I Suspect That My Plans To Start Writing For And Performing In A Band With 'Spud' Most Likely Interferred With Then Long Term Plans By Authorities To Make Me An FBI COINTELPRO Clay Pidgeon That Needed To Be Neutralized Politically.

And Now In Early 1979, Some Eight-Years Later And A 1000 Miles From Home, Friends And My Family Who I Had By That Time Reestablished Relations With Over Two Years Earlier In November 1976 ---I Found It Really Impossible To Completely Love The Two Women I Was Then Sleeping With On Different Occassions At That Point In Time.

This Was Because I knew That My 'Ex' Was Setting Me Up For A Fall In Portland Since The Day I Met Her Just Outside Of Vacaville On Labor Day September 2, 1974. --- Then There Was All That Satanically Weird Shit Easter Weekend March 1975 In San Francisco, Her Spill At Callahan Days '75 About 'Plans For Me Up North', Which Resulted In Greg's Stabbing There The Following Night, Her Secretive Solo Trips To Pocatello Idaho Where I Suspected She Was Posing With A Body Double Of Me As Evidenced By The Blown August '78 Death In Idaho Falls Near Pocatello, Over Which I Was Quizzed, Driven Out In The Woods And Nearly Murdered Over.

As For Kendra, I Was Truly Mystified At Her 'Jekyl & Hyde' Like Personality Swings --- The Kendra I Knew Early December Who Was So Terrified And Guilty Looking Over The Psycho Ward Window Jumping Suicide At Providence --- But Who Only Three Days Before The New Years Party Comes Over And Interrogates Me Over What I Might Have Known About The United DC-8 Crash Victims From Vancouver, Washington & Portland In Way That Was Even More Fucking Scary Than The Quizzing I Got From The FBI Agent Weeks Earlier Just Before Halloween 1978, Therein Response To Rubber Mask Robbery Of The Bank At 39th & Hawthorne In Portland. --- The Robbery That I Knew Phil's Friend Pete From Chicago Must Have Committed, Whereas The FBI In Charge Of The Team Knew It As Well But Wouldn't Say. --- I Was Gratefull For This Incident As It Confirmed My Suspicions That I Was Under FBI Surveillance At That Time.

In January 1979 Kendra Was Soon To Play Her Flip Side For Me Again Thereat The Then Upcoming Exposition To Be Given By Her Uncle George's Friend Will Vinton In What Must Have Been Late February Or Possibly The First Week Of March 1979.

A Weird Incident Took Place In My Room At The House On NE 57th Sometime In January Or Possibly February 1979 When For Some Reason Or Other We Stared Into A Candle In My Room And I Went Into An Almost Hypnotic State Before I Snapped Out Of It. --- I Later Wondered If Her Cousin Wasn't Hypnotized As Well When He Took That Fatal Plunge From That Psycho Ward Window At Providence Hospital Back In December 1978.